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Relationships & Intimacy Guidance
Questions from Readers
Special thanks to Leigh Dean for her wise and loving editing and generosity of spirit. Meet
Carol:
Psychotherapist from NYC with 35-years in private practice.
She has looked and worked with Love and Relationships from
many different perspectives.
Carol: What is the magnetism and chemistry that attracts two people? The
Communicators:
To ask this particular question is very much an “intellectual”
pursuit and as we work in energetic vibrations it is the
place from which we must decipher your question. That which
humans see as “attraction” between souls is
very much an energetic alignment between the two souls.
In many ways an attraction and a repulsion can both have
the same intensity. However, one connects to a positive
aspect of a person’s being and one will tend to connect
to what is seen as the shadow side or undeveloped aspect
of a person. Attractions are not always “positive”
per se. For instance, they could be a union between fearfulness
in one person and fearfulness in another person, but when
they blend together there is a familiarity and a “recognition”
that can cause one person to be drawn to another person.
Dear, we can go on and on with this discussion and, yet,
we do not feel that it will be useful to those that are
in confusion about relationships. Meet Leigh: The Editor of Healing Guidance Newsletter Leigh:
Doesn't the brain give off energetic vibrations, too? Why
does an “intellectual” question require that
your energetic vibrations come from a different place from,
say, an “emotional” question?
The Communicators: Hello dear, very fine question and you are absolutely correct in what you are saying. However, that which we were addressing or, perhaps questioning, was the “detachment” in Carol’s question. And to continue in that vein would have simply created a superficial volley that would not actually touch on the essence of what is so often difficult and frustrating to humans in terms of intimacy and relating to another human being. Meet
Carla and Ben: They have been married for
16 years and have an 11 year-old son.
Carla: Ben and I have known each other for 18 years. We love each other very much, but we also feel that our communication energy-flow is often blocked. We are afraid to totally open up to each other. We would like to ask for guidance on how we can both support each other in growing individually and still stay connected. Communicators: Hello dearest Carla, we welcome you. Dear, that which you ask does not have a simple answer, however, to keep it simple we would say it is your “pasts” that get in the way of your communication. These “pasts” are the armor you both created so that you could “survive” in the world. You each have your own “style” but, in both cases, it is a protective device. Dear, that which was needed when you were children is no longer needed today and, slowly you are both shedding these outer protective layers. Dear, the way in for both of you is to continue with your individual counseling, as well as, family counseling. There is a great deal of childhood pain that you have both been holding on to. Dear, your “gripes” are really not with the other person—even though at times you may be annoyed with each other. It has more to do with “habits” you both learned early in life. In many ways your “issues” are a perfect compliment to each other. And, in being so, they maximize your healing and growth. Dear, as a couple and as individuals you have grown tremendously and all the “hard work” you have put in has and will continue to reap the benefits. Be patient with yourselves and with each other. It is a process that is unfolding each day and you are both doing quite fine.Meet
Jo: Jo is in the second half of her century,
single and is now living in Manhattan. She has traveled
and lived abroad for many years and has been married twice.
Dear, you long for connection in a very romantic way and, at the same time, you also long to be free and very independent. The men you selected to marry, mirrored the places within yourself you were in at the time. When you wanted to run, you selected a more settled man. When you wanted to be more settled, you selected a man who wanted to run. You have been selecting men that are the polar opposite of you. Dear, you have not yet come to a place in your own self where you have found a way to “do your own thing” and experience a deep romantic connection. With the men with whom you have cohabited in the past, you knew, in some ways, you had some power over them so that you could be free if you wanted to be. These latest connections are actually a step up for you in that you could not use your “old ways of manipulating” these men because they were too seasoned themselves in being slippery and non-committal. Dear, if you want to change the type of men you attract, you will need to continue to do your own inner work to integrate the various parts of yourself and to find balance within yourself. In the past, you had split off a part of yourself and were seeking someone outside of yourself to compliment you. And, now, you are indeed beginning to seek an inner wholeness and that, in turn, will translate into attracting a partner who is also whole within himself.Meet John
and John: They have been together for 7
years.
John: After 7 years with my partner, I have observed in him a strong sense of obstinate denial and I have learned to work around it in daily life issues. But now I find him willfully denying potentially life-threatening issues. Do you have some perspective on how to make him see reason? The
Communicators:
Hello, dearest John: We welcome you and congratulate you
for coming forth. That which you ask for your partner, John,
you are also asking for yourself. In so many ways you each
are a mirror of the other. That which brings you together
also pushes you apart. For, at times, that which you do
not want to see in yourself your partner also does not want
to face. Dear, that which we speak of is not on the superficial
level but at a level where some deep emotionally scarring
has taken place that you both have encountered way before
you knew each other. Finding each other was like being rescued
from a desert island for, in each other, you each found
a sort of recognition of who you are and to the realization
that you were no longer alone in your pain or in life. However,
that which has proceeded has been complicated because, although
you have a kindred spirit to partner with, each of you still
has to deal with your own internal pain that still has to
be healed. Your partner is far more resistant than you are
and, yet, in some ways he is actually more aware of the
pain he is in, where as you, John, tend too often to pretend
that all is fine. Although it is quite a pleasant way to
be and appreciated by many, dear, you still need to delve
deeper into that which you have been avoiding. At this time
we would encourage you to seek counseling for yourself.
Your partner will not come forth until he is ready to do
so. However, by doing your own inner work you will begin
to disengage from the “role playing” that is
currently going on between the two of you. This is a necessary
step so that both of you can begin to see yourselves as
individuals and begin to clear out your own inner conflicts.
Dear, all that being said over the long haul, this is an
ideal partnership for both of you. There is much potential
here for tremendous growth, but it can only happen if you
both do your individual inner work.
Contact Me Do you have a question you would like answered? First question is FREE. Contact Me I hope you enjoyed this newsletter and ask that you please pass it on to your friends and family. If you received this from a friend and and would like to receive it directly please
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Judith Pomerantz |
| The
Communicators are my source for higher wisdom which comes to me through
channeled writing. "We come to you at this time to lead you back to your soul, it is that which is known to you, that which is the center of your core, that which you have strayed from. We introduce nothing new and yet it can be likened to a marvelous discovery. It is your own truth and radiance that will emerge in the process. It is the light and love of the universe." In Light and Love (The Communicators) |